Moving yourself through change

As the world is changing right in front of us I am a little bit distracted by the change going on in my own life - which is probably a blessing. The odd thing is, my change is one I had wanted for a while but couldn’t have, so I had found a way to make my peace with things as they were. Mostly. When the opportunity to get that change suddenly presented itself, I found myself as much not wanting to let go of the cushion I had built for myself as I was excited to actually get the change. That surprised me, but it shouldn’t have. I’ve seen people struggle with change throughout the years I worked in HR, and as a coach I’ve helped people cope with it more easily. There is safety in the familiar, even in things we don’t like but we understand and can predict. Sometimes we feel more confident that we can handle a suboptimal situation than that we can find a way to deal with a situation that is as yet unknown. That isn’t as strange as it sounds: we can look at the coping mechanisms we’ve built, but we have to imagine we can build them for a reality we can’t fully anticipate. 

It follows, then, that you can help yourself or someone else going through change by zooming in on your belief in your own or in their ability to adapt. When you can’t predict how things will change, focus on your own capacity to find a way through. 

You can look at ways in which you have adapted in the past: that is data that shows you have successfully done this before so the odds are good that you can do it again. Maybe there are other learnings too.

You can re-establish what is most important for you at this point. Anchoring yourself on that will help you go towards that when you have to make choices, accepting other things that may not be ideal as the cost for getting the thing that matters most. In my case, this was the clincher: I knew that I wanted the change, so that meant I had to give up my cushion. That clarity cut through the noise in my mind and moved me on to planning and action.

Let me add one more suggestion: when you’re feeling exposed, connect with someone you love - your child, parent, partner, friend … someone who is on your side. It’s an incredible source of strength.

If you want someone to walk alongside you through the process, give me a call. You can do this.

Howth Marina - own photo